You are probably right

I worry about what people think about my parenting skills. It might be hormonal, but I suspect it's because I want to do the 'right' thing for the little person I love SO SO SO much.

As we all know, there are a million different options on everything. I feel myself getting uncomfortable talking with other mommies....

They are not trying to make me feel that way, it just happens if they are doing something or think something different then I do. [Hello, that is EVERYONE!]

I was in the doctors office for a wellness check for baby. Everything was well. She asked if there was 'anything else.' I told her I suspected he was starting to teethe. I immediately started talking fast. About how I knew it was early and some babies are drooly and some get more fussy around this age. She stopped me mid sentence with, 'Well, you are probably right.'

I was taken aback. She thought I was right about something?

'You know your baby better then anyone else. So you are probably right.' In fact she added, seeing right though me, 'You are probably right about most things for you and your Lewis.'

I wanted to cry. Validation. Finally. I felt stress leave my body. I felt my confidence rise just a little.

I hugged her when we walked out the door.

A few days later I was talking to a friend on the phone. She was telling me some of the struggles she and her baby were having. She went on to explain how she planned to fix them and what she thought the root of the issue was. I instantly formed my own opinion and what I would do differently. I nearly told her. But then I realized that, actually I had no stinking idea. I don't know her baby. Or her body. She does. She was probably right. And so, I told her that.

Being a mom is hard in weird ways. But I guess we can all just rest in the fact that we are probably right.

And not alone.

I love you,



Sarah said...

That was a very well-written post, Jocelyn!! And SO very true. Keep it up!! I know you are an awesome mom, and your happy baby proves it!!
Love you!!

Allison said...

Such a good reminder for me...and I don't have a baby yet :D

Lewis is SO precious, and I'd say you are an excellent mommy, too <3

Lee said...

This was really powerful. I just had the same experience with my pediatrician, and I wanted to hug him. Hard.
I've never felt so evaluated before in my life as now when I have a baby, and it was really affirming to read this. Thank you!

Christy said...

Hi! Just thought I'd let you know that I read this post a few years ago (stumbled on your blog through some mutual friend or another) and it has stuck with me. I'm now a doula and childbirth educator and it is SO EASY for me to want to share my opinions with others, but this phrase "you are probably right" stops me in my tracks time and time again.
I'm preparing a talk on mom guilt and being kind to yourself right now, and had to come back and find this post and I think about what I'm going to share.
I wanted you to know that your words made a difference!


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