Baby update: week 19 and some {real} feelings

Baby News: 


Size: A mango!
Weeks old: 19
Length/weight 6 inches, 8.5 oz
Cool life events: Working on the brain this week. And getting fatter. And I think jumping. Swimming is not good enough anymore. Now we must jump too. 

Jocelyn News: 

19 weeks
So how are you feeling really, emotionally that is? This week I come to the reality that we are going to be parents. That I have to deliver this baby. Out of ME. So part of me is mega excited. Part of me feels trapped. All of me feels overwhelmed.

Are you scared of giving birth? Actually no. I am not afraid of pain. I am doing my fair share of research on the methods and think I have a few options that will work well for me.

Like an epidural right? No. I will not be taking any hospital medication. Unless a life saving C-section is needed.

Are you into water births? I think the concept is great. I plan to use the jet tub but I don't want to have the baby in the water.

So what methods are you going to use? I will tell you when I know for sure and can write somewhat educationally on the topic {and defend myself}. Like I said, the reality that this child is coming out of me just sank in this week...

What is stressing you out the most right now? I really want to finish getting all our stuff unpacked. {still not unpacked from our move in Aug.} Realities are so very different then our idealistic dreams aren't they?

How is your health holding up {other then baby stuff}? It's been hard. I have to pace myself and let other people do things for me. I need to be OK with having things undone, not done or half done. I am on about half my normal supplements so that has been hard too.

Is pregnancy what you expected it to be? Kind of. I thought the "cravings" were not optional. Like give me ice cream or I will die. It's not like that. I still have control over my body. I've never made Rowan get up in the middle of the night to get me food. {I think that is so rude.} My feet are not growing, I'm not crying all the time, my husband does not feel like he's married to someone else. I still know my body and the changes have been expected, subtle and {relatively} slow. I kind of had the impression that once you got preggers, baby was in control, you just held on for the ride. But it's not true. Just because you are going to have a baby does not give you a "right" to be selfish.

Have you done any "crazy pregnant lady" things yet? I just finished putting ALL the clothes I can't wear in garbage bags. I get sad when clothing gets left out. I have become even more obsessed with shoes. And bought myself a pair for Christmas. {I wasn't going to admit that, dang it!}

I am glad we are friends. 


Today's outfit. 
H&M non-maternity dress 
Jacket-Thrifted, no tag. but smelled like Great Grandma's house. It is one of my favs right now.   
Neckless- Forever 21  


Sarah Bradshaw said...

best week ever. baby is the size of a mango. YEYAS!!. :)

A little Rojo said...

I will admit I was looking forward to this one...

Laurel West said...

You're awesome, Jocelyn! :) There cheers for other mommies who aren't afraid of birth and who want things done the natural way! :) Praying things go well for you! :)

And just for the record.... David has gotten me food in the middle of the night more times than I care to admit... for a while there he just kept a stash of granola in the nightstand drawer. ;)

A little Rojo said...

Sounds like you have a good...and smart man Laurel :) Watching you and your belling with interest as well dear!


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