Still no word...

Still no word on the house. I don't know if it's our home or someone else's. I am needing to submit my desire for this house to God about every 3 minutes. Have you ever noticed how INSANE your mind can be when transitions are involved? My gosh, I have to refrain from going on Craig's List and picking out furniture. I have to put away my computer so I don't look at the pictures I have seen a thousand times. I fight to NOT plan where I would put things and how it would be if we "got it".  I am a serious advocate of not letting your mind drift into places that are not reality. It's not my house yet. I don't have permission to decorate it. 

All of this has been making me think about home. What defines "home" for me?  I want home to be Rowan, I want it to feel like home when we are together and friends in love. I think I would always like my home to be warm and I am a little addicted to my own pillow. I like beds too, but I don't know if that would be a defining factor. Those things don't need to be in a house. It can be a little apartment, a room even. 

So quickly I become discontent. Suddenly those 3 flights of stairs we have to climb everyday are annoying, not a free work out. Suddenly our dear apartment is way to small. All of this is a lie. Our apartment is perfect for us right now. I don't deserve this house, why am I suddenly acting like I do? I refuse to live that way. Every breath is an undeserved gift, I will will that in my soul. I am content and thankful to live anyplace with Rowan. I refuse to let my desires for this house make me unhappy with what I have right now.

I jump every time one of our phones rings. And I am still very much enjoying this game, it's getting intense. Rowan and I feel good about our offer, and the timing of it all. We have done everything we can do. Now we get to enjoy God's work. It's nice to know we have done all possible on our end.

May you live well!



Silhouettes1881 said...

Hoping you get the house - how exciting! At the same time knowing that if you don't, He has something better in mind. Blessings!

Hailey said...

know the feeling! that was me with my car ;-) i dread to think what i'll be like when it comes to buying a house!


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