LIFE DAY!



Today is Life Day. It's a holiday I made up this year actually. But the story starts 6 years ago. 


Normal day at school, just started a new term, booked to take 25 credits. Just finished my second volleyball season on scholarship. I was in {almost} full time ministry with a few different organizations. Life was excellent. I was changing the world. I had a car, cell phone, tons of friends, I was in love with my church family, and felt my life was being put to good use. I was succeeding in athletics and academics. The ministries I was investing in were thriving. But on this day 6 years ago my life changed forever. 


A self portrait from a while ago...
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On the way to lunch on a break from school, I was in a serious car accident. T boned on my side at 35 mph. The car I was in was basically stopped. Rushed to the ER I was there for 6 hours and for that time they did not know if I would make it. But I DID! I was in ICU for a few days and trauma recovery for a few more. I was deeply supported by friends and family at that time, {and I continue to be} but my life changed on that day. I was seriously hurt. Spinal injurious, internal bleeding, a serious head wound etc. In my soul I was ready to die, right with the Heavenly Father and confident of my Faith in Christ Jesus. However, I don't think I was ready to live with so many changes. I was not ready for so much to be "taken away".

I fought to "get better" and "push though" as my athletic background had thought me, but day after day, year after year the progress was slow... or stagnant, and frustrating. I had to drop out of school, and could never play volleyball again. I was so dizzy everyday and suffered intense back and neck pain, casing me to throw up unexpectedly, along with many other annoying "holding me back" elements. Most days getting out of bed was my goal. This went on for years. I presented that I was fine in public, but in private I was so sick and frustrated and "why did God do this to me?" haunted my soul. 


I still have bad days. The progress of healing is really slow and some days I want to give up. Some days when my body keeps me from doing "good things" I still have to beat down the "why did God DO THIS?" Or "Just think who I would be if I could be HEALED!" 


A younger family...
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Friends and a hipster, athletic side...
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I sought to work though this question, to conquer bitterness and to not be mad at God for "Doing this to me." Recently my perspective has changed. I realized {and I feel so dumb for it taking 6 years to figure out} I should be dead. I should be in the ground right now. My parents should be crying today because they miss me. But I am ALIVE! 


GOD SAVED ME. 


6 years ago today God saved my life, God plucked me out, he protected me from death or a life far more injured then I am living now. He SAVED me. 


Today I remember that my life could have been "cut short" at 20. I am living a dream not a tragedy.  


So, happy Life Day friends, may you love being alive today! And thank you Heavenly Father for protecting my head in the car accident, thank you for the ability to talk, to see, to remember, to smell, to love, to laugh. I LOVE being ALIVE! 


-jocelyn 









2 comments:

Lauren said...

Thanks Jocelyn for reminding me to be thankful for my life, even through all its trails. :)

Lilya Litvak said...

Thanks for sharing your story...wow! Sounds like it was really tough to go through! Thanks be to God for His deliverance.

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